week thirteen - still injured and feeling sad

Still injured and I guess I am finally coming to terms with the fact this must be part of the journey. At some moments I feel as though I might not be cut out for the 26.2 monster, maybe I was only suppose to run as far as 12? I mean I have gained so much this far like self confidence in my work, my relationships and most importantly myself so why don’t I just throw in the rag? Well I guess the other realization I am coming to terms with is that my heart is now completely in this even if I have to walk the whole thing, I have to do this.

The thing is that this shit is really hard, hard on a lot of levels but I get the hardest thing about it besides the 360 degree lifestyle change is the commitment this takes, it’s a stick in my side sometimes. I liked my old lifestyle. I liked hanging out with my friends after work, buggin out and everything. I know some of you might be saying “well you can still hang out and not drink” but when I do go out its hard for me to stay committed to training. I fall back into my old ways too easily. It’s not my friends…it’s me. :(

The other thing that is bothering me is that I feel like I am not working hard enough either being injured and everything. I feel more accomplished when I am outside running then in the gym doing the elliptical…I need to get better why the fuck isn’t it healing :( Anyways, sorry to be so negative right now but its just how I'm feeling.

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Achilles not healing
Doubts keep flooding
26.2 look’s bleak
sneakers worn
body tired
through the muscles
I feel strength
keep treading
keeping trying
keep going

Achilles
memories of my mom
ripped and ruptured
enclosed cast for over 6 months
chiseled off, leg now slightly thinner

please heal
give me the strength within
keep treading
keep trying
keep going
Achilles

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