7.14.2007

week ten - polka dot bikini vs condom caps

Soooooo,very uninspired to write for a while but my sister encourages to just to track the bad and the good. That is the whole part of this journey right? Anyways, my ankle started to hurt again and I was told to stay off of it for 2 weeks therfore I have to rely on the gym, which I hate. So anyways I went to the gym to try the "aqua jogging" that I have been reading about. Looks pretty easy so off I go.

First I would like to say I am new to the whole olympic size pool thang. The most I have done ever in my life in the pool is play marco polo, skinny dip, and lets not forget the endless hours of floating on a raft with a spray bottle in one hand and my maragrita in the other. So when I show up @ 6:00 in the morning there is a line of condom caps waiting to get into the pool. Condom caps being old ladies who have on swimming caps, swimming sneakers and the one piece bathing suit that looks like it was just made out of a rubber tire. Anyhoo....I come out of the lockeroom area you know....with a towel wrapped around me tightly becasue you know.....I am conservative (right). So I come out in my polka dot bikini looking like I am about to do a photoshoot for sports illustrated, hair down, you know.... you never know whos going to be at the pool! So they all turned around at the same time (they must have been friends) but they turned around and just looked at me and straight up told me I couldn't go in! I was a bit confused and caught off guard but they told me I needed to:

  1. Take a shower before I do anything (What the hell does a shower do, why do I have to do that before I get into the pool!?!!)
  2. You must at all times where a condom cap.
  3. Bathing suit (they actually said I would be o.k with going into the pool with the bikini but there eyes didn't really express the same feelings
  4. Sneakers: They recommened these for some reason but at the moment I can't remember because it was so dumb.

With all this said, I turned around with my head down, said thank you, got dressed back into my gym clothes and headed back upstairs to the illeptical where I was soooo disheartened and intimidated by these Qtips that i refuse to step back into the pool area. I felt like they were in a club gangin up on me. I reminded me of a time in middle school where I was the last one picked for kick ball....it wasn't a good feeling back then or even today! Anyways, I will keep you posted on what happens....

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I think all pools are like that...complete freaks...I've never understood the showering before the pool mentality either. It would seem to me that if there was anything disgusting we didn't want to end up in a pool, the brief rinse to a portion of your body that the shower provides wouldn't seem to do anything but get you wet...which would leave me to believe the only possible reason to force this kinda behaviour is because....THEY'RE AFRAID THE LEVEL OF THE WATER IN THE POOL WILL GO DOWN IF PEOPLE KEEP TAKING IT WITH THEM! Man they're smart...

Kerri Ferrara said...

This is hilarious. I know, I've heard it so many times, but its even better in writing!