week thirteen - still injured and feeling sad

Still injured and I guess I am finally coming to terms with the fact this must be part of the journey. At some moments I feel as though I might not be cut out for the 26.2 monster, maybe I was only suppose to run as far as 12? I mean I have gained so much this far like self confidence in my work, my relationships and most importantly myself so why don’t I just throw in the rag? Well I guess the other realization I am coming to terms with is that my heart is now completely in this even if I have to walk the whole thing, I have to do this.

The thing is that this shit is really hard, hard on a lot of levels but I get the hardest thing about it besides the 360 degree lifestyle change is the commitment this takes, it’s a stick in my side sometimes. I liked my old lifestyle. I liked hanging out with my friends after work, buggin out and everything. I know some of you might be saying “well you can still hang out and not drink” but when I do go out its hard for me to stay committed to training. I fall back into my old ways too easily. It’s not my friends…it’s me. :(

The other thing that is bothering me is that I feel like I am not working hard enough either being injured and everything. I feel more accomplished when I am outside running then in the gym doing the elliptical…I need to get better why the fuck isn’t it healing :( Anyways, sorry to be so negative right now but its just how I'm feeling.

____________
Achilles not healing
Doubts keep flooding
26.2 look’s bleak
sneakers worn
body tired
through the muscles
I feel strength
keep treading
keeping trying
keep going

Achilles
memories of my mom
ripped and ruptured
enclosed cast for over 6 months
chiseled off, leg now slightly thinner

please heal
give me the strength within
keep treading
keep trying
keep going
Achilles

____________

week twelve - 12 miles and six maragaritas

Sooooooo enough said....I ran 12 miles today. Give me props...please? Like right now....
I was on cloud nine and decided to go out to my favorite Mexican restaurant with my sister and my good ol friend Jose Cuervo and got shitaced. Does anybody else do this?!!! Yeaheee for me.....

week ten - polka dot bikini vs condom caps

Soooooo,very uninspired to write for a while but my sister encourages to just to track the bad and the good. That is the whole part of this journey right? Anyways, my ankle started to hurt again and I was told to stay off of it for 2 weeks therfore I have to rely on the gym, which I hate. So anyways I went to the gym to try the "aqua jogging" that I have been reading about. Looks pretty easy so off I go.

First I would like to say I am new to the whole olympic size pool thang. The most I have done ever in my life in the pool is play marco polo, skinny dip, and lets not forget the endless hours of floating on a raft with a spray bottle in one hand and my maragrita in the other. So when I show up @ 6:00 in the morning there is a line of condom caps waiting to get into the pool. Condom caps being old ladies who have on swimming caps, swimming sneakers and the one piece bathing suit that looks like it was just made out of a rubber tire. Anyhoo....I come out of the lockeroom area you know....with a towel wrapped around me tightly becasue you know.....I am conservative (right). So I come out in my polka dot bikini looking like I am about to do a photoshoot for sports illustrated, hair down, you know.... you never know whos going to be at the pool! So they all turned around at the same time (they must have been friends) but they turned around and just looked at me and straight up told me I couldn't go in! I was a bit confused and caught off guard but they told me I needed to:

1. Take a shower before I do anything (What the hell does a shower do, why do I have to do that before I get into the pool!?!!)
2. You must at all times where a condom cap.
3. Bathing suit (they actually said I would be o.k with going into the pool with the bikini but there eyes didn't really express the same feelings
4. Sneakers: They recommened these for some reason but at the moment I can't remember because it was so dumb.

With all this said, I turned around with my head down, said thank you, got dressed back into my gym clothes and headed back upstairs to the illeptical where I was soooo disheartened and intimidated by these Qtips that i refuse to step back into the pool area. I felt like they were in a club gangin up on me. I reminded me of a time in middle school where I was the last one picked for kick ball....it wasn't a good feeling back then or even today! Anyways, I will keep you posted on what happens....