week twenty - 18 days and counting

18 days and counting….this is where I am at.

Well it is exactly 18 days until THE day. I don’t know if you have been following my blog since the beginning but I am ready to get this show on the road!! I have isolated myself from my friends completely and I am ready to have my life back. It’s been ALL about the marathon and everything revolves around it. I remember a couple of months ago saying that “I enjoyed running” and “My rest days I feel as though something is missing” oh and my favorite I had said this far “Its meditative” WHAT THE F***!! I can’t wait to get this show on the road and not have to run another mile again. I mean, I don’t want to think that I am hanging up my running shoes for good, but right now….with 24 days left….I could hang them up for good and be perfectly fine with it. Period. Oh, and for the record, I obviously at the time said those statements when I was only running under 20 miles a week. The time when I considered an 8 mile run to be long. I digress. Below are just a couple of things that are going through my head at the moment.

NUMBER ONE
First things first: I am scared out of my mind. I don’t think my legs are there yet at all and it sux because I know I have been bustin my ass but as I am closer to the starting line, I think back to the runs I missed. I question whether or not I ran fast enough, long enough, lifted enough, etc.. I just ran 18 miles, I feel like I should be singing that Kanye West song, “Jesus walks” because at this point of the game it’s a frigin miracle I have come this far.

NUMBER TWO
At this point I don’t care what I look like in my spandex. Construction workers can have all the fun they want while they sit on there ass…looking at my ass….on their lunch break. I am happy to know I am making their day.

NUMBER THREE
Every Saturday on my long run I see the same homeless guy sitting on the bench. Ever since I started he has been out there. If anything at this point I wish we had some sort of talking relationship so he could cheer me on but he has made no attempt to even look up from whatever the hell he is doing. In fact I have his schedule down to a science; case and point: My first loop around the park he is smoking a cigarette. Second loop he is reading the newspaper. Third time around he take a little snooze, and buy the time my ass makes it around the fourth time..he has built a damn house!! God bless him, and while we are at it…bless me.

NUMBER FOUR
I think I maybe inspiring some people. I think its funny because a couple of people I know are joining a race here, a race there and they have come up to me and actually told me that “Well if you can do it, then I can do it.”… What does that mean exactly? It’s like a reverse insult I think. I guess a normal, you know… healthy person would look at my lifestyle with disgust. I mean I used to smoke, and drink all the time…so maybe it is a compliment. Anyways, I thought that shit was funny.

Anyways, till next time.